Recently, NL Moore & Associates consultant, Steve Highfill, woke up to being a year older. He shares his wisdom and a few “If I had known then what I know now” observations with the rest of us. Check it out:

Most of us have a favorite Gary Larson “Far Side” cartoon. One of mine is the picture of a very old man who just died, and the doctors, accountants, and family members standing at his bedside say in amazement: “His last words really were, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’ ” Brilliant insight into the foibles of human character.

Recently, I woke up and found myself “older.” Typically, older people say things like “If I was your age again…” or, “If I had it all to do over…” or, “If I knew at your age what I know now…” Whatever the adage, older people wish they could pass along some life wisdom to younger people. Unfortunately, the wisdom of the “older” seldom translates to the younger, but that doesn’t stop us from writing blogs hoping someone will listen. I fantasize about conversations in heaven where someone comes up and says, “I just want to thank you for helping me and my family avoid some painful seasons.” That would be cool.

Which leads to a few “If I Had Known” observations for those a step or two behind me in the journey of life.

  1. If I had known… that marital love is more about friendship and selflessness than it is about infatuation, I probably would have gotten married much earlier than I did. As we approach 39 years of marriage, I cannot imagine life without my best friend. Life with her gets better, deeper, richer, and more fun every day.
  2. If I had known… that how my children would “turn out” had far less to do with me and a whole lot more to do with God’s love for them, I would have given them more latitude, flexibility, and the model of a somewhat less worrisome parent. There were some high drama seasons, but in the end, God had His way with them. To His glory, they give Him more credit for what their lives are like now than they do me. I am grateful.
  3. If I had known… how much God loves people on the margins, who I thought were living “in error,” I would have been much quicker to acknowledge the mysteries and injustices in life. I would have judged less, loved more, and asked earlier, “What can I do to make a difference?”
  4. If I had known… the “call to ministry” is placed upon the life of every believer to serve Him faithfully in whatever arena they find themselves, I would have thought more humbly and accurately of my pastoral role as that of equipping the saints for the real work of ministry.
  5. If I had known… Proverbs 23:5 (“Money makes itself wings and flies like an eagle toward the heavens”) could be realized anytime, anywhere (a job loss, a 2008 market crash, or a Covid-19 recession), I would have placed less confidence in a retirement fund and developed a more diversified skill set alongside a diversified portfolio.
  6. If I had known… a 90-year-old genuinely thinks and feels like a 30-year-old inside his or her head and heart, I would have been more attentive to, respectful of, and available to those older than me – eager to learn from the wisdom of their experience.
  7. Finally, If I had known… my job title and positional authority was ultimately a temporary and superficial expression of who I really am, I would have been open much earlier to leaving that position and courageous to follow God’s lead to another one.

We can quote and reference Jeremiah 29:11 until we are blue in the face (“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope”), but it’s another thing entirely to step out in faith. We can trust our God loves us, has our best possible outcome in mind, and will not fail us, no matter the circumstance. He really is worthy of our complete surrender. If I had known…